Remember the Elaborate luncheons I spoke in my previous post,.. whrein the idea was to bring the family and the extended family together and have everyone involved into everyone else’s lives.. both good and bad timeIt is usually said that “Family that eats together .. stays together”, Its a nice thought and we all love our families. No one wants to be away from family intentionally. But we need to remind ourselves of the time when this phrase was coined and passed on from generations to generations. The family (read wife, daughter, pre-teenage son) used to wait for the father ( and sometimes perhaps the grown-ablebodied-son-assisting-father ) to comeback home from work..after all they were the earning-members of the family, while the womenfolk managed to run the family with their earning.
How much can we stretch ourselves today to stick to the above phrase. With the double income family being a necessity ( read not a luxury) in present days, thanks the rising inflation rates…. count your stars and consider yourself lucky to be in the presence of your family everyday…
I am very much for the opinion that mealtime is family time… and entire household must gather together for at least one meal a day… I honestly do.. But am I ( or rather are we) able to accomplish this feat.. The only time of the day you get to see each other is at night… coz.. every morning.. Its every one getting into everyone-else’s way. Lucky ones get back home at the earliest by 7.30pm ( which is invariably the females) by when the kids would have had their first pangs of hunger.. I am sure all of you out there, have a very understanding and comforting parents-in-laws. they shoulder a great part of our household duties. We must not forget,.. they are at the fag end of the wheel… and the strain of “taking care of house and kids while you are out working”.. is beginning to show in their health too… After 60… even though they have minimal needs.. its our responsibility not to overwork their already wearied out bones.. And the father cant get come before 10.00 pm.. but.. by then the kids are fast asleep and you might be almost half asleep on the couch
I am not trying to accumulate sympathy votes for the working mothers today.. but people.. sit back and take a look at the picture.. there is after all 24 hrs in a day.. out of which every individual needs 6-8 hrs of decent sleep to keep the machinery working…No one is having a gala-time at the office.. we all slog for at least 8-10-12 hrs a day, depending on the position on the corporate ladder… Its practically getting impossible on weekdays to get together at the dinner table and share a joke…The more i think about it.. the more depressed I get.totally agreeing with Nandita… Many of my working sisters don’t actually have the choice to stay at home. They are keen to get to work day after day.. coz they all love their family and want to provide for things that are beyond bread and butter.
So, perhaps that’s why ( As Shiva rightfully points out)… the families are spending the weekend in the “live to eat” mode.. Parents are not happy about leaving their kids at daycare and putting them to several private classes every evening… (something to occupy the kids while they ( or one of them) can hurry back home). They have their share of guilt too… but then.. who is watching… So compensate for the lost time during weekdays.. the family opts to dine out on weekends…do you think food plays a vital role in this weekend activity… naah.. ! I don’t think so..
I know its not polite to eavesdrop.. but still.. try paying a little attention ( without turning your head) to the family at the table behind you.. and watch how the conversation flows… All the food-related talk you would gather will be ,,, “could you pass me this – this is my fav.. I want a bigger piece – I want this for dessert”… rest of the conversation would invariably revolve around… “Dad…my science teacher.. my math project.. school has a talent hunt.. Mom…how about my birthday dress…help me with my craft tonight.. will you … .. .. … … .. trails off .. .. .. ..
Food.. (read elaborate luncheons) brought the families (read extended families involving 3rd and 4th generation cousins) together a couple of decades back.. It is indeed Food (read Roadside dhaba / 3-5 star restaurant) that brings THE FAMILY (You -Me – and Our kids) together today.
at times i feel the double income family has more stress and also tend to spend more. mainly on food ( which in turn has adverse effects on the health)…. then having kids at day cares( which has a double sided effect on the kids and guilt on the parents)..
in order to keep pace with the world around , all are loosing sight of what they are living for!
i am not telling that we should sit at home ….. but working should not be at the cost of our family!
Hi Nandita..
Sorry for the delayed response.. got busy with other posts..
***double income family has more stress a***.. So true.. but i guess we have to admit..”those who can afford to make a choice”.. of being at home ( and do something to keep the faculties occupied…).. they do prefer not to get into the Double incomeGroup
And your observation on.. how a typical DIF (Double IncomeFamily) spends on food.. is noteworthy..
We need to watch over what we spend on over food
Stress is no longer stress, once we are used to it. Obviously, dinner table is the place we share some time with the family and it keeps the strings together. It is true that “Family comes first”. However, it is better to have loads of work than to be out of work. The mantra is balancing, which I believe is the ultimate goal we are striving for. Deepa, you have captured the scenario so well.
Shiva..
////it is better to have loads of work than to be out of work.///
நூத்திலே ஒரு வார்த்தை.. சும்மா நச்ன்னு சொல்லியிருக்கீங்க..
this is waht i call the pearls in reality..However overworked we are.. we still have something to work on…
may no man be ever out of work.. may he never be out of food