On Second Thought…

The television was on, not that I was watching, but just for the fact that, “there is a TV”, and it is expected to be “ON”. With nothing much to do around these days, I was drifting aimlessly with my thoughts. I would start thinking about a certain incident that took place almost 5 years back, during the playback, I would amuse myself by giving new twists and turn to the same happening. This would steer the incident towards the outcome in my desire. I am very much aware that I no longer control any past experiences. But this helps me to relive sad moments and convert them to happy endings.

One thought would lead to another, soon a storyboard would develop. Last night I was watching a program on Diana, and how the paparazzi were held responsible for her demise. Somehow influenced by this, I was rubbing shoulders with Diana in my dream. I could also see my family living in the Buckingham Palace. We laughed our heart out at the totally impossible dream. But then, when I ruminate on my dream, I imagine all sorts of things.. as how Diana would feel in our Company, would the Queen Mother approve of my “friendship” with Diana, Diana enjoying Pongal and sambaar served on banana leaf…. and other things we do everyday.

All said and done… this gave me another thought. Is the Human mind ever capable of being “blank” ?. The reason I say so is, at any given waking-moment, I’am ( and I hope you too) always thnking about something. It could be about work ( not something everyone would relish), could be about the chores that think you have to do in the next couple of hours, or could be about some preparation , arrangement etc. If none of this is your priority in your thought process, the I bet you will be either staring into the idiot-box, or instinctively reach out for your Internet on your laptop or your mobile.

The need for “being connected” is so strong in the human psyche, is impossible to ignore and has become a natural urge like hunger and anger. By being “Connected”, I mean it in all possible sense, literally, figuratively, and not to mention Virtually. My observation is..the “being connected”-feeling also extends to our thought process as well. If I am thinking about a certain wedding in the family, then train of thought would be the guests, this will lead to a certain anecdote that happened with a particular guest. This would follow into the place where this took place. Then all the memories associated with that place would rush in. Each memory would kindle another train of thought and the process continues.

Philosophically speaking, “you can be alone even in crowd”, while it is also said ” You are never alone when you are in your own company”. Now these are fodder for great minds. There is still a long way to got for me to debate on this. But are we really afraid of being alone. ( DONOT read alone as loneliness, or isolated… those are totally different dimensions). I accept, with crime rate on the rise, it makes sense when a person is uneasy when alone. But how about, getting to the level of paranoia when one is alone.

I have learnt over time that “out thoughts” speak to us only when we are alone. Not that they are silent at other times, but,our remaining senses are so occupied that we do not hear our own thoughts We are either constantly talking, or listening to someone else talk. Did you ever face a situation….where.. when there is no human around , when there is no internet , when there is a cable blackout .. ????. How did that make you feel ????