How would it make you feel if your 4-year old came to you as soon as she wakes up ( which is probably the time you would be at the breakfast table to face the day)..hugs you and says..”……You are the best dad in the whole wide wide world”….how would you put feelings at this point in words in the language you are most conversant at… pretty hard.!!!..hmm…damn hard !!!… face it… its impossible to put those emotions into words… This is
=d>APPRECIATION AT ITS BEST & IN THE MOST UN-ADULTERATED FORM=d>
Somewhere along the way.. in the urgency to grow-up , we forgot the art of baring our emotions as it feels.. no frills attached , no diplomacy ..just say what you feel. Later when we think about this.. we start feeling bad about this and try to compensate by telling nice-little things and we give it the name appreciation.
Broadly we can classify appreciation as Verbal and Non-verbal. Non-Verbal appreciations are those which are apparent in the looks, the way you turn your head when a nice chick passes by ( or for that matter a cute-guy asks for directions 😉 ..), the way you raise your eyebrows when the child at the coffee shop catches your attention, the way you suppress your laugh when you accidentally overhear the conversation between enthusiastic adolescents, the way you stop on your tracks to smell the roses in your neighbors garden.
In order to be more adept at the art verbal-appreciation… its imperative that you are familiar with the language of the object. Lets say you come across a picture in a magazine. I don’t know what it is.. but I can certainly say that it caught your attention so strong.. that you decide to add it to your scrap book. Now this is non-verbal appreciation. You liked the picture so much.. that you want to share it with your friends.. but forgot to carry with you. So you decide to tell your friend all about that one-picture before he actually sees it from you. In order to be able to do this.. you must be able to bring the entire picture into your minds eye and paint the picture in words. This is only possible … only if you had looked beyond the superficial photograph.This is verbal-appreciation
This is exactly what a painting-artist would do. He sees a bunch of roses in a flower shop ( we too pass by the same shop and glimpse at those flowers… pretty nice hmm..). Just as listening is different from hearing.. seeing is different from looking. The artist not only sees the flowers, but also looks into them.. He absorbs the view into his intellect.. and when he is in front of his canvas.,,.. for him.. the picture is already there in that canvas… he just needs to draw lines and fill colors at the right places. This is his manner of appreciating a view of scene that he witnessed.
The same principle goes for all kinds of appreciation. You happened to like your subordinate’s work.. A little appreciation would boost his spirits and might even motivate him to perform better. But what good is his potential.. if you can’t speak few encouraging words about him amongst his co-workers. Better still.. give him a written appreciation.. he will be only glad to be at work Monday morning. Incentives and increments will follow…but this gesture of appreciation will stay fresh even after his retirement
A pat on the back would suffice for the moment.. but your words have a larger effect. So you need to choose your words carefully. “Hey..fella… Very Good..!” .. will be taken with a smile and handshake.. but the recipient might harbor doubts as to whether you really understood his contribution.. Don’t get too technical.. then it might just scare him off.. as though you are emphasizing your supremacy. You need to choose a middle ground and at the same time be well aware of the nature of work you are about to appreciate.
“Hey..Good job man..!… I liked the way you did this-that .. keep up the good work” … acts like an appetizer for the recipient as an impromptu appreciation. Remember he is still waiting for the main course. Use your resources and stick to the basics if you want to excel in the art of appreciation. 🙂
I am of the opinion that all languages have their own thesaurus. (If you are not sure.. start building your own.. or look up the internet).. Assuming that the communication is in English.. lets use the Thesaurus to find nice words and substitute for common words. Make sure that each sentence conveys a specific meaning and avoid beating around the bush. Start with an encouraging note.. work around the object of appreciation.. and end it with a word of reassurance and hope. The hope you have expressed in the last part of the appreciation will reinforce his respect towards you.
After all we all have the urge to excel in our fields.:-w So extend that drive towards expressing your appreciation also. Practice this art. After some time you will notice that words will flow when you need them. You might not have to take a compulsive effort to remember them. Words are out there in the air… just stretch and reach out to pick them up.
Be unique in expressing your admiration. Use your resources well. Use Thesaurus.
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